The Crunch Heard Around the Staffroom

I usually bring an apple and an orange to school. The other teachers rarely eat fruit with their lunch. Fruit is expensive, and I've been told that fruit is one type of gift that you can bring to others' homes. However, I decide to "splurge" on myself, and enjoy my fruit in the staffroom.

Without fail, someone looks up from their work when I start munching and "crunching" away at my apple. Usually, someone will look at me and say "apple" in Japanese, and giggle. At first, I didn't understand their reaction. Then, one day, a teacher offered me an apple, and it was cut up to resemble a rabbit. I've heard that this is usual. In fact, the least they do to an apple is cut it. They never simply bite into it. At home, they peel their apple, and all other fruit for that matter. I have never witnessed it, but I have heard that they even peel their grapes. (I believe it.) So when I take out my apple, and give it my most heartfelt bite, I am a scene walking out of an American sitcom, and it makes them laugh.

The first-year teachers around me are all used to my apple-eating ways by now. Sometimes, other teachers will see me, and reaction or not, I can guess what they're thinking. Once in a while, I wash my apple in the kitchen sink, and start eating it as I head to my desk. I "crunch" as I walk by the third-year teachers. A few heads look up as I "crunch" my way past the second-year teachers. I slow down a bit to smile at the vice-principal, then I take a another bite of my apple, and continue past the printers. Finally, my "trail of crunch" ends at my desk, where I perform the grand finale. That is, I eat the entire apple, including the seeds. Even for Americans, this is weird, and I can imagine how it makes my Japanese coworkers inwardly cringe. For that last part, I apologize, kinda.

I must admit, that for the most part, I like to see my coworkers react to my foreignness. Yeah, it'd be great to eat a cute-looking apple, but as long as I keep on getting reactions from people, I plan on biting into my apple with the most deafening crunch possible. CRUNCH!

The Return of Candy-sensei

Every morning, students trickle into the staffroom after the second bell has rung. They come into the staffroom, because they need to get a late slip. The teachers are never happy about this, so sometimes when I'm the only one in the staffroom, the kids look excited that I'll be the one to sign their late slip, because I'll surely spare them the lecture. Well, I sympathize with the students, because I was often late in high school, but there's nothing that I can do, but turn them over to the next teacher that returns to the staffroom. I don't think I have the permission to sign their slips.

This morning in particular, the teachers were especially annoyed at the tardy students. All students were taking a test during first period, so you can imagine the frustration of teachers when students walked in late, because it would interrupt the testing in the classroom. Most of the tardy students were late by minutes, so when a student walked in three hours late, you could practically hear all of the first year teachers mumble to themselves in disbelief. The student was no other than the leader of the talker pack from my former seventh period class on Tuesday.

As soon as the student spotted me, a light bulb turned on in his head. He caught me looking at him, and so he "informed" me, "my name is Nagano." I answered with an "I know." He looked delighted at this and asked me, as he reached into the drawer for a tardy slip, "what is your name?" Although he had asked me a question, he proceeded to fill out the tardy slip. Therefore, I thought our little conversation was over, but I heard him ask again, "what is your name?" I looked up. I knew where this was going. I gave him my best shot at sounding exasperated, and said, "you know my name!" He had this knowing smile on his face, and I had a good guess as to what I was about to hear. Sure enough, he said, "your name is Candy!" A bit anti-climatic, but it still made me laugh. I shook my head and humored him, "no no no... my name is Kelly!" He laughed at his own joke. At this point, he had finished filling out the slip, so he approached me with it and asked, "Candy, please sign." I shook my head again and said, "Sorry, I can't," and I motioned to the teacher sitting two desks over. He took the slip over to him. As the teacher checked that the form had been properly filled out, an English teacher walked into the staffroom. He pointed at me, and told her in Japanese, "she isn't Candy!" The teacher frowned and starting scolding him, probably because he had been three hours late. I hope it wasn't because he had called me "Candy." It became evident that the student was further stalling from having to go to class, so the teacher started to show him out. When he wouldn't move, she started to gently move him along. His last words as he was pushed out of the staffroom were, "Candy, help me!" Sorry kid, you're on your own.

The school term is over, but "Candy" lives on.