2011: the year of the rabbit. I’d like to think that it’s my year, since it fits my nickname, but I was actually born in the year of the dragon, which could prove to be a good match. Dragons are stronger than rabbits, and according to one of my coworkers, this year will be a lucky one for the dragons. So far, so good. Not yet a full two weeks into the year, and I’ve already had two of my closest friends visit, traveled to some new places, seen old friends, and have made new ones. After an eventful and testing, but amazing 2010, it’s nice to refresh and set the tone for what I hope will be another great year. And this month, in a few days actually, I’ll have to make a big decision, which will probably not seem so large some years from now. But for now, it’s 2011 and it’s time to do some serious thinking.
On January 3rd, I took an overnight bus to Tokyo. The bus ride took about eight hours. Overnight bus rides are interesting; I feel as if I don’t sleep, yet every time I wake up, it’s three hours later from the last time I was awake, and time passes dully, but quickly. I don’t get quality sleep, but it’s a way to save on transportation and accommodation. Overnight buses usually arrive sometime between 5am and 9am. This one arrived at Shinjuku station, in Tokyo, at 6:30AM. The plan was to have an early breakfast, go to an onsen, meet my friend Yoko for lunch, check in at the hostel, and then meet my friends Rachel and Stephanie at the airport. Most of everything went according to plan, except for the morning. I wanted to settle down at a nice place for breakfast, yet the first recognizable place I could find was McDonalds. A blessing and a curse, those golden arches are all over the world.
I meant to only spend an hour or so at McDonalds, but two coffees, one hashbrown, an egg sandwich, and four hours later, I was barely leaving McDonalds. Kind of like the overnight bus, I’m not sure how the time passed by so quickly, but it did pass. After eating, I flipped through my guidebook, watched a movie on my ipod, messaged my family, wrote some thoughts on scratch paper, did a lot of thinking, and people watched. (The most entertaining was this girl with greasy hair that smelled like alcohol, and had her head down on the table. She was fast asleep, with a tray of two untouched meals in front of her. She was already there when I sat down, and she slept for about an hour, until the third incoming call in a row woke her. She answered, mumbled something into the phone, stood up and walked out, leaving the tray of food on the table. It was then, as she walked past, that I smelled the alcohol. I guess Ms.In-need-of-a-shampooing had had a long night, and was left hanging at McDonalds. Ouch.)
After the morning crowd had rushed in and out of McDonalds, the place got relatively quiet. I started to think about possibility. The possibility of certain things happening (or not) in the future, the possibilities for humanity, the possibility of success and failure, and the possibility of having more possibilities. O_o Though I didn’t want to, I started focusing on unchangeable circumstances, rather than focusing on choice. I know, it’s an uncertain and slippery slope once you start thinking about things you can’t control, and I found myself sliding. But, realizing that you have to deal with inevitable situations can make you aware of the value of choice. And while that may cause us to worry about the weight of our choices, it can eliminate the unnecessary stress of trying to change the things we cannot change. And, most people I know have a plethora of good things to choose from. Let’s never forget how blessed we are.
So, I talk about choice and circumstances, but what of fate? This past weekend, after my (amazing! fabulous!) trip to Tokyo and Nikko, I took my guests to Nara. We entered Todai-ji, a famous temple, and Stephanie and I decided to buy a fortune. For those of you outside of Japan, this is how it works: you either pick a small slip of paper out of a box, or you shake a container and lean it to the side, until a stick comes out of the small opening. The paper or stick will have a number printed on it, and that is the number of your fortune. You take your number to the temple employee, and he or she hands you a fortune. There might be more ways to get a fortune, but those two are the ones that I’ve noticed. My number was five, so the temple employee handed me the designated fortune for that number. I received my fortune after Stephanie, and she said that I had a horrible expression on my face as I read it.
Here is the gist of my fortune, recreated from memory:
Health: if you have a health problem, it will get worse.
Personal: the person you are waiting for will not come.
Travel: inadvisable.
Competition: you will lose.
Now you understand why I was horrified. If you get a bad fortune, you tie it to a tree or another designated area. The belief is that you won’t take the bad luck with you. I am not superstitious, but just to be on the safe side, I tied it next to the other bad fortunes. The fortune slip predicted misfortune, and even though I didn’t take the fortune to heart, it still revealed some of the insecurities and questions lurking in my subconscious. I forgot about it for the rest of the day, but I did think about it on the train ride back home. I linked the travel portion of the fortune to the decision that I alluded to earlier, which some of you already know of. That is, the need to decide whether I should stay in Japan for another year, or go home. Although I don’t believe that the fortune predicts the outcome of my decision, it did make me worry. It goes back to worrying about the weight of our decisions... Regarding the fortune, I realized how ambiguous it was, since “travel” is vague word, and I would technically travel back to the U.S. . But, if you think about it, even though I am living in Japan, I am still a traveler in this foreign country. Instead of taking the fortune as something likely to happen, I considered it a word to the wise. Time to check my expectations: when I think about going back home or about staying, are my expectations realistic? My fortune made me realize that some of them may not be. Evaluating expectations can be a helpful approach to decision making.
We may give fate more credit than she deserves, or we might not respect her enough. Just remember, “You can't leave everything up to fate...she has a lot to do! Sometimes, you must give her a hand.” Sounds like all women, real or personified, have a lot on their plate. :p
Earlier, I mentioned that a teacher told me that 2011 will be a lucky year for dragons. What I neglected to mention was that she also said that the following year will be an unlucky one for the dragon. She suggested that I go to the shrine and pray, in order for it to not affect me. What I don’t understand is, if next year will be the year of the dragon, why would it be unlucky for us? Well, whatever the case, luckily I can breathe fire and burn down anything that stands in my way ;).
The first lesson of the year in all my classes will be a New Year's lesson. In this lesson, we speak about the fortunes that Japanese people buy from the temples or shrines on New Year's day. I brought up the contents of my fortune while conversing with the teacher that helped me prepare the lesson. She surprised me when she said that sometimes bad fortunes are better than good ones. Her reasoning: when you are presented with the worst kind of news, figuratively speaking, there’s no direction that you can go, but up. She even said that some people are happy to receive bad fortunes, because it symbolizes the ability to raise yourself out of any negative circumstance; things can only get better. Bad fortune or not, we all have those from time to time, and we are faced with choices to make. Again, how much are we relying on fate? How can we be more proactive in creating the changes we want to see?
So, while I told myself that I wouldn’t make any New Year’s resolutions this year, I find myself with a long mental list, ready to exchange dreams for plans.
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