"Mr. Intentional"

So here's a less upbeat post that was inspired by an insightful Lauryn Hill song, and provoked by a recent situation, though not limited to said scenario. I write about those that have hurt me or others, and that will never learn to respect others. I will call you “Mr. Intentional.” Also, I share my thoughts for all of you that show compassion and love, despite the wrongdoing and corruption that may surround you. I want you to know that you don't need to degrade yourself, and you shouldn't be pressured into exchanging your kindness for malice, even in a world where it seems that everyone else does. Simply, be careful, don't let anyone bring you down; you are worth more than you know, and you need to start believing it. I believe it. And for those that are guilty of initiating deceit, realize that it's not too late to change who you are, but the real question is, are you brave enough to?

So, I begin by saying to the wrongdoers that have inspired this blog, don't feel special because I am taking the time to write about you. I write about things that impact me, and it's not rocket science to see that your repulsive acts have impacted me.... I've learned a lesson, and I have made a promise to myself that I will be more careful about who I give my time to. And even though you are a part of my narrative, you should know, “Mr. Intentional”, that you're only worth the thirty or so minutes that it will take me to write this blog. I may even be giving you more than you're worth, but don't overestimate its value. I'm only giving you a miniscule fraction of the time and energy that I have to give, that I've ever given, and that I will continue to give. Thirty minutes compared to a lifetime, is nothing. And I'll even be dramatic to emphasize my point – thirty minutes compared to the age of our earth and universe is but a mere speck in time. And don't you dare compare the nature of these words to the words I dedicate to others. I'll have you know that in regards to others that I write positively about, the time I spend writing about them is only a sparkle of the love, affection and gratitude that I feel for them.
Alright, now that I've made myself clear, I'll continue. I don't want to extend my generosity a minute more.

I know that we are all a little messed up at times. I know that we all come with baggage. And I KNOW that we are all immature at times. But when you find yourself trying to mask that part of you by lying, you're worse than the person who shows his or her ugly truth from the beginning. Because the ugly truth, I can deal with, and I have dealt with. See, by showing your ugly side, you are at least being brave enough to risk the possibility of others walking away from you. And usually, most people stick around to see you through. But the beautiful lies, no one likes to be played for a fool. So, keep your beautiful lies in your museum of deceit. As old as the practice may be, take your innovative set of lies home; I'm into the simple and classic practice of honesty. Don't be afraid to show others that you're only human and that you make mistakes. We all do. Mine was believing you and being mislead by you. And I can admit that, because I'm no coward. And for that reason, I've never had sympathy for cowards. Everyone deserves a second chance at redemption, but cowards never claim it. They ignore the opportunity to come clean, again and again. There is no good time to admit the ugly truth, so you just have to find the courage to unleash it. Cowards never do. And when the truth is found out (not directly from the coward, of course), it's funny how quickly they hide that “sweet” face of theirs. Yeah. I can tell that cowards are scared of me, because they always avoid confrontation.

I can move on from a negative situation. But I don't need to tell you that, “Mr. Intentional” ; you realized that when I stopped allowing you to take advantage of the situation. For me, it was a lesson learned. As for you, you might never learn. For the sake of others, I hope that you do. But even if you don't, I am unaffected. I'll continue living my life.

So, please, if you find yourself in a situation where a “Mr. Intentional” is taking advantage of you, don't allow it. Don't fill your head with others' lies. The only person you can rely on one-hundred percent, twenty-four hours a day, is yourself, so protect your well-being. Value yourself and be good to others. People come and go, so focus on your positive dreams. Don't be scared of being alone, because you won't have to: positive people find positive people. If you realize this, then anytime that someone hurts you, those feelings of hurt will eventually fade. Mind you, “Mr. Intentional” will never apologize or have the courage to face you, so force yourself to move on without a sincere apology. Usually, only those that have taken precautions from the beginning to not hurt you are the type to offer a sincere apology.

Finding the strength to move past a situation reminds me of one of Rocío Dúrcal's songs, “Caray.” Dúrcal sings about someone that has hurt her: “despues, despues yo te olvide, y te perdone, y no puedo hacer ya nada por ti.” Basically, she sings that after everything was said and done, she forgot him, she forgave him, and that's all that she can do for him. So, if you've been hurt, just remember that you should offer forgiveness. In the large scheme of things, and in a world with larger problems, it's a minor situation, so don't blow it out of proportion by allowing yourself to become a bitter person.

So, my dear friends, “Mr. Intentional” knows what he has done to you, and the person will do it again if you let him or her. I would hate to see you cry, twice. Keep this saying in mind, “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” You don't need to be in a situation where people are using you. Don't be in denial, and don't make excuses for people: “Fantasy is what people want, but reality is what they need.” The reality is that you need to get away, and stay away. You might walk away with hurt feelings, but you'll walk away with the ability to heal. And as for them, they'll have their conscience to answer to, and their denial to keep them company.

And “don't (you dare) worship my hurt feelings, Mr. Intentional.” Yet, I can't guarantee that you won't, because as it has been written, when it's all said and done, I will forgive you, I will forget you, and that's all I can do for you.