The Crunch Heard Around the Staffroom

I usually bring an apple and an orange to school. The other teachers rarely eat fruit with their lunch. Fruit is expensive, and I've been told that fruit is one type of gift that you can bring to others' homes. However, I decide to "splurge" on myself, and enjoy my fruit in the staffroom.

Without fail, someone looks up from their work when I start munching and "crunching" away at my apple. Usually, someone will look at me and say "apple" in Japanese, and giggle. At first, I didn't understand their reaction. Then, one day, a teacher offered me an apple, and it was cut up to resemble a rabbit. I've heard that this is usual. In fact, the least they do to an apple is cut it. They never simply bite into it. At home, they peel their apple, and all other fruit for that matter. I have never witnessed it, but I have heard that they even peel their grapes. (I believe it.) So when I take out my apple, and give it my most heartfelt bite, I am a scene walking out of an American sitcom, and it makes them laugh.

The first-year teachers around me are all used to my apple-eating ways by now. Sometimes, other teachers will see me, and reaction or not, I can guess what they're thinking. Once in a while, I wash my apple in the kitchen sink, and start eating it as I head to my desk. I "crunch" as I walk by the third-year teachers. A few heads look up as I "crunch" my way past the second-year teachers. I slow down a bit to smile at the vice-principal, then I take a another bite of my apple, and continue past the printers. Finally, my "trail of crunch" ends at my desk, where I perform the grand finale. That is, I eat the entire apple, including the seeds. Even for Americans, this is weird, and I can imagine how it makes my Japanese coworkers inwardly cringe. For that last part, I apologize, kinda.

I must admit, that for the most part, I like to see my coworkers react to my foreignness. Yeah, it'd be great to eat a cute-looking apple, but as long as I keep on getting reactions from people, I plan on biting into my apple with the most deafening crunch possible. CRUNCH!