Since Japan is very bicycle friendly, you can find ramps of all sorts in this country. For instance, there are narrow ramps bordering stairs, so that people can walk their bikes up or down and not have to get into a fight with the steps. Most people air on the side of caution and do walk their bikes down. However, some people don't get off of their bikes and instead speed down these ramps, risking sliding off the edge and landing on the steps.
Today, I tried to be one of those people. My local supermarket has a small set of stairs that leads into a residential street. Normally, and for obvious reasons, I get off of my bike and walk down. Tonight, I wanted to be like those carefree teens that zoom down said ramp. The warm breeze was encouraging, my bike felt so light, and no one seemed to be around, so I took off.
I was halfway down this short ramp, when I got scared. I changed my mind about the whole thing, lost confidence, and took my right foot off of the pedal in order to step on the ground and stop the bike. The bike stopped, but I lost my balance and the bike started leaning to the right, tottered onto the steps, and I clumsily made it down the last few steps. I might or might not have cursed... I thought my bumpy ride was over, but the bike was still in motion after the incline, and it swerved in front of two high school boys standing by an adjacent vending machine. My bike folded over in front of one of them, and I slowly fell over, too. One of the boys helped me up as I apologized, and he reassured me that everything was ok as he helped me arrange my bag and baguette back into my basket. If an unexpected storm doesn't fling food out of my basket, my clumsiness will. (Storm+grocery shopping = flying avocados)
If I hadn't hesitated, I definitely could have made it down that ramp, but I wavered in my resolve and failed. Later, as I was laughing at myself about the whole thing, I thought about a song titled, "Los Caminos De la Vida" or "The Paths of Life." Specifically, I thought of these lines:
"Los caminos de la vida no son como yo pensaba, como los imaginaba, no son como yo creia. Los caminos de la vida son muy dificil de andarlos, dificil de caminarlos..."
Roughly translated:
"The paths of life are not as I thought they would be, not as I imagined nor believed they would be. The paths of life are difficult to trod down, difficult to walk on..."
I thought about this song, because it has been on my mind lately. I started thinking about the lyrics of this song after my family was forced to say goodbye to someone this past week. We can't ever be completely sure of where life will take us. And though we may hope for the best, we may have to deal with the worse. Tonight, I was hopeful that I would make it down the ramp, but I lost confidence halfway through. Though I can't change the outcome now, perhaps the results would have been better if I had just been more confident. Or maybe things would have turned out the same, but at least I could have said that I did my best. Tonight's incident is a silly, trivial example, but I sincerely learned from this lesson. Because other times, the road is much wider and the stakes higher. My aunt's sons, brothers and doctors did all they could to try to save her after the accident, and that's what counts.
No matter which path you choose, you may or may not have control of the destination, but take it with confidence anyway, and be hopeful. I'm hopeful. I still have you, and you have me. We'll be alright =)
Sweet dreams!
